What is a Disagreement?
Disagreement is a natural part of human interaction. Because we are all different people, we hold different opinions on many subjects, and these differences often lead to disagreement. Even simple observations can vary. For example, if I ask one person whether it is cloudy today, he might say, “No, it’s sunny, with only a few clouds.” If I then ask his neighbor, who may even be a close friend, she might respond, “It is cloudy, but the sun comes out occasionally.” Though both descriptions refer to the same sky, the two friends might still argue over who is correct.
This kind of disagreement is minor, but it raises an important question: are all disagreements like this? The answer depends on the situation. Some disagreements are simple and harmless, while others are deeply personal. When disagreements become personal, they can cause real pain if we are not careful in how we handle them.
Psychologists identify various frameworks for understanding conflict and disagreement. These frameworks help explain the causes of conflict, the emotional responses involved, and the ways people attempt resolution. However, as Christians, we are called to look beyond psychology alone and turn to Scripture for guidance. God calls believers to navigate disagreement with love, humility, and gentleness. He urges us to avoid quarrels that divide us and instead seek truth, unity, and peace with one another.
Why are we doing this now?
If we are going to engage in a serious or even fierce debate, we must first understand who is involved in that debate. We need to know who these people are, how much they mean to each other, and what they mean to us. Disagreement does not happen in a vacuum; it happens between people who have relationships, histories, and emotions.
When we look into the darkness and understand what it represents, we see that darkness seeks to stir anger and resentment within us. It wants us to turn against one another and, ultimately, to hate each other. In contrast, the way the Lord frames our discussions is rooted in love and hope. These two paths, darkness and the Lord’s way, stand in direct opposition to one another.
Because of this, we must seek to understand why these struggles arise within us and how we find ourselves caught in the middle of them.
Now let’s meet our people…
One of the key disagreements recorded in the Bible is the conflict between Paul and Barnabas, found in the book of Acts. This disagreement is important not only because of who these men were, but also because of what it reveals about conflict, conviction, and faith. It was a serious disagreement, one that neither man likely desired, yet it was significant enough to change the course of their ministry. The events leading to this conflict began in Antioch (in modern-day Turkey).
Before examining the disagreement itself, we should first become familiar with the people involved: Paul, Barnabas, and John Mark. John Mark is the central figure in this conflict, as he is the reason Paul and Barnabas disagreed so sharply. Although these events occurred long ago, the emotions, ideas, and frustrations within this argument are timeless.
When we look closely, we can also see the presence of darkness at work. Darkness seeks to divide, to intensify frustration, and to pull faithful people apart. If we recognize the darkness and allow it to see us, we cannot simply ignore it. Instead, we must understand what the darkness desires and how it works against our spirit. Only then can we resist it. The only way to overcome darkness is not to deny its existence, but to remove its power by turning toward the light.
Who was Paul?
Paul, who was called Saul before his conversion to Christianity, was a Jew and a Roman citizen. He was a Roman-Jewish Pharisee who initially persecuted early Christians with great intensity. However, after encountering the resurrected Jesus, his life changed completely. Saul became Paul, the “Apostle to the Gentiles”, and devoted his life to spreading Christianity throughout the Roman Empire.
Before his conversion, Saul was traveling from Jerusalem to Damascus with the intention of arresting followers of “the Way.” As he neared Damascus, about a half-day’s walk from the city, the Lord intervened in a dramatic and unexpected way. Saul was confronted by Jesus Himself and placed in a situation that forced an immediate and life-altering conversion. The account of this event is recorded in Acts 9:
1Meanwhile, Saul was still breathing out murderous threats against the Lord’s disciples. He went to the high priest 2 and asked him for letters to the synagogues in Damascus, so that if he found any there who belonged to the Way, whether men or women, he might take them as prisoners to Jerusalem. 3 As he neared Damascus on his journey, suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him. 4 He fell to the ground and heard a voice say to him, “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?”
5 “Who are you, Lord?” Saul asked.
“I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting,” he replied. 6 “Now get up and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do.”
7 The men traveling with Saul stood there speechless; they heard the sound but did not see anyone. 8 Saul got up from the ground, but when he opened his eyes he could see nothing. So they led him by the hand into Damascus. 9 For three days he was blind, and did not eat or drink anything.
17 Then Ananias went to the house and entered it. Placing his hands on Saul, he said, “Brother Saul, the Lord—Jesus, who appeared to you on the road as you were coming here—has sent me so that you may see again and be filled with the Holy Spirit.” 18 Immediately, something like scales fell from Saul’s eyes, and he could see again. He got up and was baptized, 19 and after taking some food, he regained his strength. Saul spent several days with the disciples in Damascus. (Acts 9:1-19, 17-19)
This encounter marked a complete turning point in Saul’s life. Once blinded by his own zeal, he was physically blinded for three days, dependent on others to lead him into Damascus. Through Ananias, the Lord restored his sight, filled him with the Holy Spirit, and brought him into full fellowship with the believers. Saul was baptized, regained his strength, and began learning from the disciples in Damascus.
Paul’s background makes his conversion even more remarkable. He was a Roman-Jewish Pharisee, meaning he was both a Jew trained in the strict traditions of Judaism and a Roman citizen by birth. He was educated under Gamaliel the Elder, one of the most respected rabbis in Jerusalem and a master of Jewish law. Gamaliel, a member of the Sanhedrin, had advised restraint and caution toward the early apostles, advice Paul initially rejected in his zealous persecution of Christians.
After his conversion, however, Paul became fully devoted to Christ. He grew in faith, knowledge, and obedience, eventually becoming one of the most influential evangelists in Christian history. Through his missionary journeys and his letters to the early churches, Paul played a foundational role in shaping Christian theology. His writings make up a significant portion of the New Testament, and reading Acts alongside Paul’s epistles remains essential to understanding the Christian faith.
Who was Barnabas?
Barnabas was an early Christian disciple and a respected leader within the Christian church. His given name was Joseph, a Levite from the island of Cyprus, but the apostles gave him the nickname Barnabas, which means “Son of Encouragement.” This name reflected his character and the way he supported and strengthened others in their faith.
As a Levite, Barnabas came from a background deeply rooted in Jewish religious life and tradition. However, Scripture does not present him as holding an official priestly title within the Temple system. Instead, his significance is seen in how he lived out the grace and generosity of Christ within the Christian community.
The book of Acts gives us two important glimpses into the character of Barnabas. First, we see his generosity toward believers in need:
36 Joseph, a Levite from Cyprus, whom the apostles called Barnabas (which means “son of encouragement”), 37 sold a field he owned and brought the money and put it at the apostles’ feet.
(Acts 4:36-37)
This act demonstrated not only financial generosity but also deep trust in the apostles and commitment to the unity of the church.
The second glimpse reveals Barnabas’s courage and discernment. When Saul first came to Jerusalem after his conversion, the apostles were afraid of him and doubted the sincerity of his faith. It was Barnabas who stepped forward:
27 But Barnabas took him and brought him to the apostles. He told them how Saul on his journey had seen the Lord and that the Lord had spoken to him, and how in Damascus he had preached fearlessly in the name of Jesus. (Acts 9:27)
This moment cannot be overstated. Saul had once persecuted Christians, imprisoning and even killing them. Most believers wanted nothing to do with him. Barnabas, however, saw beyond Saul’s past and recognized the work of God in his life. Without Barnabas’s advocacy, Paul may never have been accepted by the apostles.
Many of the priestly elite were associated with the Sadducees, a group that emphasized a strict, literal interpretation of the written Torah (the first five books of the Bible), rejected the Pharisees’ oral law, and denied the resurrection of the dead, angels, and spirits. The Sadducees were closely tied to the Temple and its services during the Second Temple period. In terms of influence, the priestly class and Sadducees held significant authority, while the Pharisees functioned more as teachers of the Law among the people. Within this framework, belief in the resurrection, a core teaching of Christianity, stood in direct opposition to Sadducean theology.
For Barnabas, coming to faith in Christ required a profound break from this worldview. The resurrection of Jesus was central to the Christian message, and accepting it meant abandoning beliefs that defined Sadducean identity and Temple-centered authority. In embracing Christianity, Barnabas gave up the status, security, and religious prestige associated with Temple life.
Entrance into the priesthood required proving hereditary lineage tracing back to Aaron, the brother of Moses. Those who served in this role participated in Temple rituals, sacrifices, and sacred duties that were strictly regulated and understood only within the priestly tradition. Yet Barnabas chose to leave behind these privileges and responsibilities. Instead, he became an evangelistic Christian, dedicating his life to spreading the Good News of Jesus Christ. Alongside the apostle Paul, he traveled throughout the Roman Empire, proclaiming the message of resurrection and salvation, an extraordinary transformation from Temple service to missionary witness.
Barnabas’s encouragement, generosity, and willingness to trust made him a vital leader in the early church. True to his name, Barnabas consistently lifted others up, helped heal divisions, and strengthened the body of Christ.
Who is John Mark?
John Mark, often referred to simply as Mark, is a significant figure in the New Testament and is traditionally recognized as the author of the Gospel of Mark, widely regarded as the earliest written Gospel. He was closely connected to the early Christian community in Jerusalem and played an important role in the spread of the Gospel during the church’s formative years.
Mark was a relative of Barnabas, identified in Scripture as his cousin (or close family member). As Paul writes:
10 My fellow prisoner Aristarchus sends you his greetings, as does Mark, the cousin of Barnabas. (You have received instructions about him; if he comes to you, welcome him.) (Colossians 4:10)
John Mark was also the son of Mary, distinct from Mary, the mother of Jesus, whose home served as a central meeting place for early believers in Jerusalem. Luke records:
12 When this had dawned on him, he went to the house of Mary the mother of John, also called Mark, where many people had gathered and were praying. (Acts 12:12)
Mary’s house was a vital gathering place for the early church and is traditionally identified with the Cenacle, also known as the Upper Room. This location is associated with key events in early Christian history, including the gathering of the disciples and the outpouring of the Holy Spirit at Pentecost. While Scripture does not state explicitly that John Mark was present at every event, it is likely that, as a young man, possibly a teenager, he witnessed many of these pivotal moments and may have encountered Jesus personally.
John Mark is also closely linked to the Apostle Peter. Peter refers to John Mark with deep affection, calling him his “son” in the faith:
13 She who is in Babylon, chosen together with you, sends you her greetings, and so does my son Mark.
(1 Peter 5:13)
The Gospel of Mark is widely understood to be based largely on Peter’s eyewitness testimony. Written for a Roman audience, likely in Rome around AD 60–70, the Gospel presents a vivid, action-oriented account of Jesus’ life, ministry, death, and resurrection.
Although John Mark initially withdrew from Paul and Barnabas during their first missionary journey, this early failure did not define his legacy. Over time, he was restored, reconciled, and became a trusted companion in ministry. He worked again with Barnabas, served alongside Peter, and was later affirmed by Paul as a valuable coworker. John Mark’s life stands as a powerful testimony to growth, restoration, and faithful service in the early Christian movement.
Who does Disagreement start?
These are the two men, Paul and Barnabas. who were preaching the Good News in every corner of the world. In Acts 13, it says:
1 Now in the church at Antioch there were prophets and teachers: Barnabas, Simeon called Niger, Lucius of Cyrene, Manaen (who had been brought up with Herod the tetrarch) and Saul. 2 While they were worshiping the Lord and fasting, the Holy Spirit said, “Set apart for me Barnabas and Saul for the work to which I have called them.” 3 So after they had fasted and prayed, they placed their hands on them and sent them off. (Acts 13:1-3)
Barnabas and Paul (Saul was his former name) worked together on many missionary journeys. Their travels were intended to help people understand what God was doing in their lives and how Jesus the Christ opened that work to others more clearly. As they moved from town to town, they listened to the concerns of the people, taught them the gospel, and helped establish new churches as the Lord directed.
Together, these two men were uniquely equipped for this work. Paul had been a Pharisee and deeply understood the expectations and teachings of Jewish law. Barnabas, a Levite, also had strong knowledge of Jewish tradition and Scripture. Because of this, they were able to explain how faith in Christ fulfilled the Law and why the message of Christianity was so important. This shared understanding and purpose helped form a strong working relationship between them.
During their missionary journey, Paul and Barnabas had a few people with them, and John Mark was one of them. Again, here in Acts 13 we can read:
5 When they arrived at Salamis, they proclaimed the word of God in the Jewish synagogues. John was with them as their helper. (Acts 13:5)
During the journey, John Mark left them in Salamis or maybe Pamphylia, and this was frustrating to Paul.
13 From Paphos, Paul and his companions sailed to Perga in Pamphylia, where John left them to return to Jerusalem. (Acts 13:13)
Now we do not know why John Mark left them, but his departure clearly troubled Paul, leading to discussions between Paul and Barnabas. After completing their missionary journey, which lasted nearly a year, they returned to Antioch. Sometime later, Paul said to Barnabas:
36 Some time later Paul said to Barnabas, “Let us go back and visit the believers in all the towns where we preached the word of the Lord and see how they are doing.” 37 Barnabas wanted to take John, also called Mark, with them, 38 but Paul did not think it wise to take him, because he had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in the work. 39 They had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company. Barnabas took Mark and sailed for Cyprus, 40 but Paul chose Silas and left, commended by the believers to the grace of the Lord. 41 He went through Syria and Cilicia, strengthening the churches. (Acts 15:35-41)
They had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company. This is exactly what the darkness desires, not merely disagreement, but complete abandonment of the Lord’s work. Yet that is not what happened here. Barnabas took John Mark, and went in one direction, while Paul chose Silas and went in another. Though they separated, both continued faithfully in the ministry to which God had called them.
Here we see that Paul was commended by the believers to the grace of the Lord. Yes, Barnabas and Paul had a serious disagreement, but neither of them quit. Both men remained committed to serving the Lord and to strengthening the churches, even if they could not continue together at that time.
This shows God working through difficult circumstances. Even in disagreement, God was guiding their steps and ensuring that His work continued. In the same way, God is still at work in us, helping us understand what happened, examine our own actions, and reflect on how others may have been affected.
After a period of separation, Paul eventually welcomed John Mark back into his ministry, calling him “helpful”:
11 Only Luke is with me. Get Mark and bring him with you, because he is helpful to me in my ministry.
(2 Timothy 4:11).
This final reconciliation reveals that disagreement did not have the last word; God’s grace did.
Let’s review this Disagreement…
Barnabas and Paul had such a sharp disagreement that they separated, but only for a time. Why was the separation temporary? Because of forgiveness. Both Barnabas and Paul understood what forgiveness meant, not only personally, but as a way of life for a disciple and an apostle of Jesus Christ.
When we look at the darkness around us, we must ask some hard questions. Is the darkness willing to forgive? Are we not called to stand for what we believe? And what does forgiveness have to do with disagreement at all?
In any disagreement, forgiveness is the central issue, the thing we must hold onto. Why is forgiveness so important? Scripture makes this very clear:
14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. (Matthew 6:14-15)
When we become frustrated by disagreements with others, especially when the work feels unfinished or misunderstood, we must ask ourselves, “Why do I care?” We care because forgiveness matters. If we refuse to forgive, we place ourselves outside of forgiveness. This is where the darkness becomes overwhelming, controlling, and destructive. The darkness is never far away; it presses in on all of us. But when we forgive others, our Father also forgives us. This is what we truly desire, even when forgiveness feels difficult or unnatural.
Understand this about darkness: it does not care about your healing or your peace. It only cares about vengeance. If vengeance guides your response, forgiveness cannot follow. But if you understand what is happening within a disagreement and choose to forgive, then forgiveness becomes possible, and healing begins.
Forgiveness is how we are meant to deal with one another. Each of us must understand what forgiveness means personally and how it fits into the framework of our lives. In every disagreement, the darkness urges us toward revenge and division. But when we forgive, we move toward God’s way, toward God’s Light.
Forgiveness is God’s Light at work within us.