I would like to talk about forgiveness. Forgiveness sounds simple, and it is a beautiful gift from God. And it is something we all desire for ourselves. Yet forgiveness is often much more difficult than we realize. I want us to consider what forgiveness truly means and what Jesus is asking us to do when it comes to forgiving others.
We need to consider a radical and unlimited set of forgiveness for people around us as Jesus and his disciples were walking along the road. Moving between towns, Peter came up to Him and asked Him a simple question.
“Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” (Matthew 18:21)[1]
At first glance, this seems like a simple question. But for Peter, it was deeply personal. In the Chosen series, Matthew has caused Peter, or Simon at this point in the story of Jesus’ life, to do terrible things. But Matthew never asks Peter for forgiveness. Peter, who was bitter toward Matthew, also told Matthew that he would never give Matthew forgiveness for his sin for hurting his family and his brother. Later in the story, Matthew did ask Peter for forgiveness. Peter looked at him, and he had not considered this, and Peter just walked away. Peter needed to think this through.
Now Peter is considering what forgiveness means not only to himself, but to others as well. Peter, considering this, decided he needed to talk to Jesus about it. As Peter is walking along on a road, he walks up to Jesus and asks Him,
“Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” (Matthew 18:21)[2]
In Jesus’ day, many rabbis taught that forgiving someone three times was sufficient. Peter also remembered the number seven, which universally symbolizes completeness, perfection, and divine fullness. The number seven is derived from the Hebrew word shiv’ah (which shares its root with the word for “to be full”). The number seven represents God’s perfect work and is the signature of His spiritual perfection. Peter thought that God’s completeness and perfection would work, so he would suggest seven times to Jesus.
Peter may have thought he was being generous by doubling that number and adding one more. Seven was also a number that symbolized completeness and perfection in Scripture. Perhaps Peter believed he was offering a spiritually impressive answer.
But Jesus responded: “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”[3] Wow! That is a lot of times! Now, Jesus may have said, “seventy times seven”[4] (Matthew 18:22), but that doesn’t really matter.
Either way, Jesus was not giving Peter a number to keep track of. Jesus was telling him that forgiveness is not something we measure or limit. Jesus was “calling” His followers to a radical and unlimited forgiveness.
Think about how God forgives us. How many times have we come before Him and said, “Lord, I have been doing wrong things, so please forgive me”? And God forgives you.
Then we fail again. And God forgives us. And we come back again. And God forgives us again. Again, and again and again! And God will forgive us.
Here, we find mercy at the throne of grace. We will forgive if we understand what it is that we seek and what to change it. It is the changing of who we are that means the most to our God.
The wonderful truth of the Gospel is that when we genuinely repent, God forgives us completely. He does not keep a record of every failure. He does not remind us daily of our past mistakes. Through Christ, our sins are washed away.
This is the forgiveness we long for. We all want our failures removed. We all want a clean slate. We all want mercy. And yet, when someone hurts us, we often struggle to offer the very thing we have received from God.
I know this struggle personally. Many years ago, I worked as a product manager in New York City. One day, I made a mistake at work. It was not a major disaster, but it was still a mistake. When my manager discovered what had happened, it was about an hour after he got in, and he called me into his office. What followed was one of the most difficult days of my professional life. He spent hours criticizing me and reminding me of every mistake I had made. Honestly, he yelled at me for seven or eight hours. And he yelled, and he screamed, and he carried on about all the stupid things I had done, again and again and again.
Now ask yourself, “How would you feel?” I was totally embarrassed, and I was hurt. I hurt so deeply in my soul. Not for making the mistake, but for impacting the people around me. I hurt so deeply that I could only look at him and say nothing. And he yelled at me for hours. When that conversation finally ended, I still had to complete my assignments, which kept me working until nearly one o’clock the next morning.
The next day I was still wearing the same suit. I was exhausted, embarrassed, and frustrated. Can you imagine how angry I felt? Can you understand how difficult it was not to hold onto resentment? This was not a small annoyance. It was a wound that stayed with me for a long time.
Yet Jesus says: “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” (Matthew 6:14-15)
I knew what Scripture taught. I knew what Christ was calling me to do. So, I began praying for my manager. I prayed for all of the people involved. I prayed for their work, their families, and their lives. And I prayed that God would change my own heart. But I want to be honest with you: it did not happen overnight.
Forgiveness is not always instantaneous. Sometimes forgiveness is a process. Sometimes we must choose to forgive repeatedly while God continues to heal the hurt within us. In my case, it took years before the pain completely faded away. God knew my heart throughout that journey. He knew my struggles, my anger, and my weakness. Yet He continued to work in me.
Now I need to ask you, “What do you think?” Did our wonderful God understand how angry and frustrated my manager was? Do you think that God understood how this “little thing” hurt all of us? And what of the confusion that I caused with the others on my team? You see, God is not one-sided; He sees all, and we need to think of that as well.
Today, when I think about that experience, it no longer troubles me. God has brought healing. But that healing came through obedience to Christ’s command to forgive. Forgiveness is hard. It requires humility. It requires surrender. It requires trusting God with wounds that we would rather hold onto ourselves. But this is exactly what Jesus calls us to do.
When Jesus told Peter to forgive seventy-seven times, He was teaching us that forgiveness is not about keeping score, “an act for an act”. It is about reflecting the mercy of God. God has shown us radical grace. God has shown us unlimited mercy. Therefore, we are called to extend that same grace to others.
As we leave today, I want each of us to ask a simple question: Is there someone I need to forgive? Perhaps the wound is recent. Perhaps it happened years ago. Perhaps it still hurts every time you think about it. Bring that hurt before God. Pray for the person who hurt you. Ask God to help you forgive. And trust Him to do the work in your heart.
Now, Jesus takes us one step further. I would like to talk to you about loving our enemies. Jesus says in Matthew:
“Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” (Matthew 5:44)[5]
And this may be one of the hardest commands in the entire Bible. Can you give your enemies the grace that they need as they descend on you and damage you?
Jesus calls His followers to love their enemies, pray for those who persecute them, and show mercy to those who hate them. Think about it. It is easy to love people who love us. It is easy to be kind to people who are kind to us. But what about the person who lies about us? What about the person who hurts us? What about the person who stands against us in all that we do? Jesus says that even those people are to be loved. Now, loving an enemy does not mean approving of their actions. It does not mean pretending that evil is good. It does not mean allowing abuse or injustice to continue unchecked.
Instead, loving an enemy means refusing to allow hatred to take root in our hearts. It means praying for them rather than seeking revenge. It means desiring God’s mercy for them just as we desire God’s mercy for ourselves.
I don’t know about you, but this is really hard! Jesus wants us to really forgive others and wants us to live by what this really means. He doesn’t want us to harm others or to disrespect them; we have to forgive them, and then we can do right with our God. It is a deliberate choice to let go of vengeance and, rather than condoning evil, it breaks the cycle of pain by transforming hurt into healing. It is essential for the repair of the heart, as it enables people to be reconciled with God and others.
Let’s go and look at the Unforgiving Servant. This is in Matthew 18. We talked about this in our first sermon on Forgiveness. Here, we see Peter wondering what to do about forgiveness with Matthew. So, Peter went up to Jesus and asked,
21 “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times. (Matthew 18:21-22)[6]
Then Jesus tells Peter one of the most miserable and magical parables of the Unforgiving Servant, and it starts out with a King (this story, Parable, is specifically in Matthew 18:21–35).
So, A king who wished to settle accounts with his servants called his servants to him and told them that he would settle with each of them. As he began to settle, one of his servants owed him ten thousand talents, and the servant could not pay back his master. The servant fell on his knees, asking, or maybe begging him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ And the master, out of pity for him, released him of his debt and forgave him. The servant jumped to his feet and thanked the master and was on his way home. Later, in a small hallway, he met another servant who owed him a hundred denarii. ‘Pay what you owe,’ he said to the other servant. So, his fellow servant fell on his knees and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ But our servant refused him and went and put him in prison until he could pay the debt. When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And you should have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ And, in anger, his master delivered him to the jailers, until he could pay all his debt.
Let me ask you, who here has enemies, and who has friends? Who here is right, and who here is wrong? We need to think this through. Let me ask you this: who here owns a house? Did you take a loan from a Bank? Who here has enemies, and who has friends? …
Let me ask you, are you a Democrat or a Republican? What do you think of the other side? How wrong are they? …
Who here has enemies and who has friends? Be careful with what you say.
Most people think that Christians can’t borrow money. What do you think? Can you borrow money? … Yes! But you need to understand that you need to pay that loan back, and being out of work doesn’t matter.
Let me tell you about my jobs and what I had to deal with. As my job progressed, I worked in many places, but I was out of work for more than a year. During that year, I never let my mortgage slip. I paid it every month. And when I had a stroke and I was out of work for years, I paid my mortgage every month.
Just because you have a loan doesn’t mean that you have the right to not pay off that loan. Is this a hard teaching? Yes, it is. But how would God feel if you took a loan from Him and then you were out of work? Doesn’t God need to get repaid? This is the same thing I think of when I borrow money. I don’t want to disappoint my God, so be careful.
Now, when the servant fell down and pleaded with his master that he would pay the money back, what did the master do? His master forgave him. What does this mean? Let’s look at what Jesus says:
24“With the measure you use, it will be measured to you—and even more. 25 Whoever has will be given more; whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them.” (Mark 4:24-25)[7]
25 And whenever you stand praying, forgive them, and if you have anything against anyone, fix it, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. 26 But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father who is in heaven forgive your trespasses. (Mark 11:25-26)[8]
Is this hard? Yes, this is hard. … Let me ask you, who here has enemies and who has friends? Is having an enemy the same as having a friend who is not happy with us?
If we think of our enemies, people who are shooting at us, or someone who is bombing us, is that our fault? Did we want this, and did we deserve this? No, this is not our will, but now we need to deal with it. And how do we deal with it? We talk to God about what we should do and where we should go. If you look at this, our struggle is about money, power, and greed that spawns frustration within us.
If you have friends that can become enemies, you need to think this through carefully. I don’t really want “an enemy”. And if someone wants to hurt me, or hurt my family, I need to, again, think this through carefully. People are people, and they are just people. We cannot change the way they think, and we cannot change the way they react, but we must forgive them if they infringe on our way of living. Remember this: our hearts must be open, and not full of speculation or combativeness. Our hearts must be pure, as we understand what these people, or peoples, are doing. If we don’t have a pure heart, God will know this, and that is not something that we want or need.
If you are a Democrat, why are the Republicans always frustrated with you? (If you are a Republican, think: why would the Democrats always be frustrated with you?)
Because they can’t control you. Are they wrong in what they ask? …
Think about what this means. Do you know the plans of what God is doing for us and where we are to go? Do you understand the people that He is looking for to help Him? Can you grasp the pace that the Lord is moving within any of our continents, … or countries, …. or States, … or our town, or right here with how we are? Can you tell what God is trying to do?
Remember, in Matthew 6:14-15 it says: “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins (Matthew 6:14-15)[9]
Forgiveness seems like a simple thing, but it is not that simple. Forgiveness means that we need to forget about what others are doing to us. Jesus wants it to be hard. This is why Jesus wants us to provide Forgiveness for all his people. Forgiveness is difficult. Loving enemies is difficult. But the Christian life has never been about what we can do in our own strength; it has always been about what God can do through us. The same God who forgave our debt can help us forgive others.
For this next set of ideas, we need to look at our prayer. I would like us to look at a familiar prayer, one that many of us have prayed hundreds or even thousands of times: the Lord’s Prayer. Within that prayer is a single line that speaks directly to forgiveness:
“Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.”[10]
It is a simple sentence, but it carries tremendous weight.
What is a trespass? A trespass is a sin. It is a wrongdoing against God or against another person. It can be a hurtful word, an unkind action, a broken promise, or a debt that someone owes us. Sometimes a trespass is a single event. Sometimes it is a collection of hurts that build up over many years. And when those hurts accumulate, we often find ourselves asking, “What am I supposed to do with all of this?”
Jesus answers that question by connecting God’s forgiveness with our own. When we pray, “Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us,” we are acknowledging that forgiveness is not merely something we receive. It is also something we must give. Jesus is teaching us that a forgiving heart is part of the Christian life.
Those who have received God’s mercy are called to extend mercy to others. To help us understand this, I would like us to consider one of Jesus’ most famous parables: the story of the Prodigal Son[11]. This can be found in the Gospel of Luke 15:11-32.
A young man grew up in his father’s house. He had a family, a home, and everything he needed. Yet one day he became restless. He looked beyond the horizon and wondered what else was out there. So, he went to his father and said, “Father, give me my share of the inheritance.” His father granted the request, and the young man left home.
At first, life was exciting. He was free. He could do whatever he wanted. No one told him what to do. No one held him accountable. But before long, his money was gone. Then a famine struck the land.
The young man found himself hungry, alone, and desperate. Eventually, he took a job feeding pigs. For a Jewish man, this would have been one of the lowest positions imaginable. Sitting among the pigs, he finally came to his senses. He remembered his father’s house. He remembered that even his father’s servants lived better than he did.
And so, he decided to return home.
As he walked back, he rehearsed his speech: “Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired servants.” He expected judgment. He expected disappointment from his Father. Perhaps he expected rejection.
But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him. The father ran to him.
He embraced him. He kissed him. And before the son could finish his speech, the father ordered a celebration. “Bring the best robe.” “Put a ring on his finger.” “Put sandals on his feet.” “Kill the fattened calf.” “For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost, and now he is found.”
This is a beautiful picture of God’s mercy. The son deserved judgment, but received grace. He deserved punishment, but received forgiveness. He expected to return as a servant, but was welcomed home as a son. This is what God does for us. When we come to Him in repentance, He does not meet us with folded arms and a list of our failures. He meets us with mercy. He restores us. He welcomes us home. But the story does not end there.
There was another son. The older brother had remained faithful. He had worked in the fields. He had obeyed his father. When he heard the music and discovered that a celebration was taking place, he became angry. He refused to join the feast.
When his father came out to speak with him, the older brother protested:
“All these years I have served you, and yet you never celebrated me like this. But this brother of mine wasted everything, and now you welcome him home.”
Can we understand his frustration? I think we can. There are times when life does not seem fair. There are times when others receive blessings we do not understand. There are times when people who have hurt us seem to receive mercy they do not deserve. The older brother could not rejoice because he was focused on fairness instead of grace.
He could see his brother’s failures, but he could not celebrate his brother’s restoration. And that is where many of us struggle. We gladly receive God’s forgiveness for ourselves, but sometimes we hesitate to offer forgiveness to others. We want mercy for our sins. We want justice for theirs. Yet Jesus teaches us to pray:
“Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.”
Notice the connection. We cannot separate receiving forgiveness from extending forgiveness. This does not mean that forgiveness is easy. It is not. Sometimes forgiveness takes time. Sometimes wounds run deep. Sometimes we must pray again and again, asking God to soften our hearts. But forgiveness begins when we choose to surrender our bitterness to God and trust Him with the outcome.
I was a project manager, and I really wanted to get a promotion. One of my brothers, who, at the time, I didn’t like, got the promotion, and I stayed a “silly little project manager” for another year. But what I didn’t know, and found out six months later, was that he had developed an algorithm that saved the company lots of money. And I never knew that he was doing this. This was a restricted project, and I only heard about it during another meeting that I held. Now you need to wonder, how good am I? All this fuss that I had about someone who really “earned it.” Now ask yourself, why didn’t I get the promotion? Did he earn it? Am I still a “silly little project manager”? Is fair really fair? Do you know?
God is not always what we are hoping for. Sometimes, God is not on our side. But being on a “side”, is only a human understanding. This is not what God would want from us. God is blessing all of us, always. Does that bother you when you are not right? I would hope not. There are no sides when it comes to what God needs from us. We are here to do His work, and sometimes it takes us a bit to understand it all.
Remember how angry the older brother was? “All these years,” he says. Well, that was me. I was mad, and I could do nothing. But did I know that my brother wrote a great new algorithm, and it really worked? I was too angary, and I could understand nothing. So, let me ask you this: can you forgive yourself?
Remember the words of Jesus in Matthew 6:14-15[12]: “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
Those are challenging words. They remind us that forgiveness is not optional for the follower of Christ. So, let me ask you: Who do you need to forgive? Is there someone whose name immediately comes to mind? Is there a hurt you continue to carry?
Is there a grudge you have held for years? Bring it before God. Pray for that person.
Ask God to help you forgive. And remember how much God has forgiven you.
Forgiveness may seem simple, but it is not easy.
Yet it is at the very heart of the Gospel. The same God who runs to welcome the prodigal son home calls us to extend that same grace to others. May we pray as Jesus taught us:
“Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.”[13] And may those words become more than a prayer. May they become the way we live.
[1] Text taken from the New International Version (NIV) from Zondervan Bible Publishers – Matthew 18:22
[2] Text taken from the New International Version (NIV) from Zondervan Bible Publishers – Matthew 18:22
[3] Text taken from the New International Version (NIV) from Zondervan Bible Publishers – Matthew 18:22
[4] Text taken from the English Stannard Version (ESV) from Crossway – Matthew 18:22
[5] This text is taken from the New International Version (NIV) from Zondervan Bible Publishers.
[6] Idid
[7] Idid
[8] Idid
[9] Idid
[10] The United Methodist Hymnal, The United Methodist Publishing House, text taken from song 270.
[11] Taken from the Luke 15:11-32 of the New International Version (NIV) from Zondervan Bible Publishers.
[12] Taken from the Matthew 6:14-15 of the New International Version (NIV), Zondervan Bible Publishers.
[13] The United Methodist Hymnal, The United Methodist Publishing House, text taken from song 270.