Let me ask you, can you see the light? Is it too hard to see? Sometimes, we choose to look at the darkness, not that it’s more interesting than the light, but it is not as bright. But what is the darkness? What does it mean? And in this darkness, why is it so captivating?
Darkness is not just the absence of light, or the dimness that comes over the world when there is little light; darkness is more overpowering, irrepressible, uncontrollable, and more sinister as it moves. What is this overpowering, uncontrollable urge that moves within us, and why do we hold onto this darkness for our own sake? Now, you might think that you don’t hold onto anything like Darkness, but do you?
We can venture into the darkness, but this darkness is a treacherous abyss, and this darkness is not a place where we find “goodness” for any reason. In fact, it will trick you into thinking that it is “good”, but it is not. Darkness is a void; it is an open, endless hole with nothing in it but greed and malice. It is not a place for us. It is a void unto itself.
Darkness, in its simplest form, is the absence of light. Yet, spiritually, it represents a state of being clouded by despair, confusion, or sin. It’s not merely a physical void but a spiritual condition that obscures our vision to the point where we are spiritually blind, and it leads us away from truth and goodness. This darkness can manifest as fear, anger, jealousy, or hopelessness, pulling us deeper into its grasp and further away from the divine light.
Sometimes, we look into this darkness, as we look at it with open expectations. As we consider what we see, which is very little, we wonder what is there. We wonder why we can’t see as much as when we are outdoors walking in the park. The darkness baffles us, and we are unsure what to do. This place, this void, is within each of us. This darkness is a void within our lives, within who we are to others and who we are to ourselves.
Our problems are not to understand the darkness, but to avoid it. You see, that within the darkness we see spiritual blindness in ourselves, and in others. As I worked within my corporate position, as a project leader, I could exploit the bitterness I had within myself, within this void of darkness, and I could malice others. I could strip people of their dignity, I would relegate them for their injustices, and I would demote them for the foils and the frustration that they had caused. This was not being a Christian, and was not being one of God’s people. In this place, I was angry, frustrated, and very devious. I was so devious that I didn’t even care about what I did to other people.
As I moved within the darkness that surrounded me, it was deeper within the darkness than I could ever imagine. It was so deep that I could not see anyone. I could not even see myself. In this darkness, I could not imagine what would happen next. In this darkness, I, too, wanted to die. And here, before all the lights started to go out, here in this darkness of the world, I started to snuff out my life, and I submitted to this horrible darkness.
I was dead. But why was I dead? I was dead for all my own reasons. The reasons are all around me, the reasons were within me, and I was in a very different world. Yet, you still wanted me to live in your glory and grace, my Lord, even though I was surrounded by darkness and refused to come out.
This is the darkness that we feel. Here, in this darkness, we feel real discouragement in ourselves and the other people around us, we feel disconnection from God as well as our community, and we are so frustrated with the disagreements with the other people we see and the work we are trying to finish. In this, we understand that we are angry and frustrated all the time. This is the overwhelming, uncontrollable, and sinister darkness that we know and frankly hate. We know the darkness strangles each of us. It’s not far away, it is always still there. But we don’t have to go there at all!
If we want transformation within us, it begins with redemption. We need to acknowledge the darkness within us, and we need to understand the desire within ourselves, so we can seek the light. When Christ was crucified, He gave us God’s salvation that is available for us through the sacrifice of His life. With our own journey of shedding our old selves, embracing change for our new selves, and finding renewal in the light of grace. And yet, we still have that darkness within us, but through all this, there is still hope.
My Lord, as Isaiah said, you have filled us with the sweetness of life. You come to us every day and help us to re-explore the world that you have for us. But there is still some bitterness with it. Why the bitterness? Because we put the bitterness there ourselves. The bitterness is in our lives, not in His.
We really do love to see the sweetness and all that you are, and everything that you are, Lord, but the bitter is still there, and the bitter is what we know our world is made of. And as we looked away because we didn’t want to see the bitter, we gave root to what is a bitter existence within ourselves and where we go.
And in the end, when we knew who we were and why we wanted to go, we knew that we couldn’t look away anymore. We cannot turn our heads, and we always knew who we needed to look at. And this is who we are, and now, what we will be. Even though we don’t always fit into the world we see, we are still part of that world, and although we don’t like it, it is still us.
As a minister, I can see how selfish I was, concerned for myself only, and I didn’t care about what you were trying to do. It was awful. I had nothing, and I was going nowhere. I cannot believe that the darkness had me. I never want to be in that darkness again. But am I? Am I still there? Is it different from what it was in my old days? Can I still see the light?
That is the question that we must all answer. Can you see the light? It is a simple question. Not complicated at all. But when you’re trying to give a meaningful answer, it is one of the hardest questions someone can ask.
It is not so easy to see the light. Sometimes, we need to try. But remember, the darkness is still there. It is within us always. That bitterness will never leave us. So, now I need to ask you, can you see the light? Some say yes, and others say no. But I cannot answer this for you. You must know this; in your heart, you need to know what this means.
Although we know who you are and what you are, Lord, we wish there was another way for you to help us, and for you to work within us, but there isn’t another way. This is your way to help us. Because we can’t see anything different than what is in front of us. Because we are lost in the world around us. And therefore, we want to serve the one we trust more than any other. And this is where the bitter is entangled in the sweet for each of us as we look forward, and as we look backwards.
Our God gives us the sweetness of life and the hope we need to understand where we are. The darkness and the bitterness are still within us, but we have our Lord and Christ to help us on our way. With the hope that we have in our own transformation, we will know what we need to do as we move on in our faith. But I still need to ask you, can you see the light?
You may want to read these:
Darkness and the Light – Spiritual Blindness
Darkness and the Light – Disagreement
Darkness and the Light – Disconnection