“Prayer is not asking. It is a longing of the soul. It is a daily admission of one’s weakness. It is better in prayer to have a heart without words than words without a heart.”
Mahatma Gandhi
Praying is the most “physical” enactment of being with God. Praying is simple. But God is always there, next to you, and loving. It doesn’t matter what you do, God will always love you. Sometimes, we may disappoint Him, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love us any less. With this marvelous love of the Lord coming to us, we must think that we can do everything, but then, prayers go unanswered, and we don’t understand why. Why do prayers go unanswered, sometimes, and sometimes, we get what we need.
If God is marvelous and wonderful, then why can’t I get what I need? Why do prayers go unanswered, when we want them and need them? Having an unanswered prayer is like blowing smoke at a campfire. The camp fire gives us all of the smoke we could ever need, so blowing smoke at the fire doesn’t help much, and it exhausts us.
Trust! This is the hardest word in the English language. How can you trust something that you don’t even know? How can you trust something completely, and give your life to this something, that you don’t even know? Trust is a word that we cannot easily understand or deal with, because we don’t trust anybody for our livelihood, with our family, for who we are and where we go, and maybe not even trust people with our money. And yet, trust is the overwhelming word that we must hear for ourselves if we believe in prayer.
God is the most important thing we can believe in. God knows who we are, and yet we have to put ourselves into his hands, which means that we need to let him guide our directions and our decisions of where we go and what we do. This is not easy! This is incredibly hard! And yet, this is what we have to do to be a Christian.
Let me give you a short story and then an example. A few years ago, I had a stroke. The stroke caused me to have three profound issues: 1) my mental capability, which I must say was a bit awkward because it took me time. Time to get over the stroke, time to understand the real world and the people around me, time to get my mental facilities back to their right order, and time to understand what people are thinking and why. 2) I had a form of aphasia and dyslexia at the same time (this is called Alexia[1] due to the issues it has). This caused me considerable issues with reading and writing. It is difficult to move forward when you can’t easily read and you can’t easily write. 3) I wanted to do something with my time. I thought I wanted to work, but work was only one aspect of what the “real world” can give you. However, being in the “real world” is one aspect of our reality, but the Lord has other ideas of what we can be.
With this stroke as my background in mind, I wanted a new job. I prayed for a job (like every day), one that I could do, one that wouldn’t take too much time and didn’t hurt my life with my wife (maybe part-time or a consulting job that I could easily understand). And, I was determined to find such a job. I spent months understanding my goals/gifts and trying to understand the markets around me. It’s hard to sit around with nothing to do, and I’m not very good at sitting.
So, I tried. I went through a year and several long-term views on how to get a job. I worked with friends of mine, who understood what I was trying to get done, one of them was a college professor at Fordham University. And he knew what I was trying to do and he was very helpful. With this, I prayed continuously and tried to get a job, but it went nowhere.
What do you do when things “go nowhere”? Yes, I wanted a job. I had let enough time pass by me and understood the world around me, more importantly, I understood the people that I was dealing with. So, yes, I could start to get a job, but there weren’t any jobs for me. Is this a prayer that I prayed constantly, that wasn’t answered? Is this one of those wonderful opportunities that I missed? Or, is this God playing with me and I am still a fool, and I don’t deserve a job?
How could I screw this up? I was praying continuously and I was looking for ways that I could help the world. But, I couldn’t. So, you have to ask, why didn’t I get a job? What part of me didn’t want to?
The Lord didn’t want me to have a normal job like website work to be an “app” developer or even have a university position. But the Lord did want me to have a Godley job. A job that I could help Him. The job that I found was unexpected, and it was to be an evangelist. But before I got this job, I had to do one thing. That “one thing” I had to do was, “Trust the Lord”!
So, if I wanted to get a job, I needed to Trust the Lord in all things and hear what He had to tell me. Trusting the Lord in your heart is hard. It means for each of us to “put down” what we have and say “ok, God, what should I do?” and then you wait. This is the problem, it is called “waiting”. Waiting is not an easy task. When you want to do something, and you want to move forward, waiting means doing nothing and still praying and then waiting some more. The Lord will tell you when you are done waiting, and He will tell you exactly what He needs you to do. But waiting can be hard, and it is really hard on you.
Why do prayers go unanswered, sometimes? Because, sometimes we ask for the wrong things. If you asked for the right things, then they wouldn’t go unanswered.
One of the things that I realized, amid my stroke, was that I wasn’t “back” to my normal task level, and I wasn’t ready for what God wanted me to do. I still had issues with myself and how I talked to people (my speech was derailed from my thoughts), so I had to wait. I had to wait to gain an understanding and, I had to wait to grasp the meaning of that understanding. Sometimes it is not enough to understand something, sometimes you also need to understand what it means to others, as well. And, this is why we need to wait. It’s not just for us, it’s for us and the world around us. So, waiting is really about ‘who we are’ and ‘what we are’. God is always helping us to learn things that we need for the job He has for us.
Now, you can tell me that I am a “fool” and that you are not asking for a job, but I will ask you this: “Are you asking the Lord for something that you don’t necessarily have yet, and that you want?” or, “are you asking for something that is dear to you but you can’t understand why you can’t get it?” I hope you see what I’m saying, education in ourselves is one of the most important things that God can teach us. Education means that we see and hear things differently from before. Education means that we understand God more clearly and what we are looking for is more special to each of us. If we are educated, in God’s way, then we’ll get it.
Education is not simple. Education means praying, reading the Bible, and understanding what Jesus is saying and why He is saying it. It also means that we can discuss what we read with others, and about what it might mean to them. And, this may take some time. Our education is not easy at all! But this is a good reason why we have to wait on what the Lord wants to provide us with. But some of the things we ask for are just wrong for us, like “winning the lotto”. Yes, we may want to win the lotto, but aren’t there other things that could also help us?
But, before all of this is true and we want to get what we pray for, we need to “Trust in the Lord.” None of this is doable without trusting in the Lord. If you want our prayer answered, you need to trust in the Lord in all things. This is not easy!
What does Trust mean? It means that you let another “steer” your way as you go. You don’t steer yourself! You let God “steer” your way. Yes, you must be humble, and yes you must let others help you (there is a difference between helping you and hurting you, you must know the difference), but you do not need to steer. When it is up to you to choose, ask God which way to go, and go that way only (you may want to take some time with this, as well).
Ok, I don’t get it! Why do prayers go unanswered, sometimes? Yes, I get the education part, but still, I want something small, like a good relationship, or some time for travel.
Let’s look at another short story and then an example: When I started looking for a job, first I had to put my trust in the Lord. After I was trying the find a job, the Lord helped me in lots of these adventures looking at a lot of jobs, but in the end, I found nothing. I was sitting on the sofa in my living room and complaining to my wife. I was telling her that I tried everything I could think of and Yes, this took me more than a full year, but nothing happened. I tried everything and nothing happened at all! And, I was … sadly… frustrated! She didn’t have much to say, but she did say, “Maybe, this is not for you.”
What does this mean, “Maybe, this is not for you?” What is “not for” me? Why does this matter? “Can’t I do this myself?”
This is when I started jumping into my faith. As you know, from my stroke I had a hard time reading and writing. However, there are lots of videos available online, and with the web, I could find many of them. With this, I started researching and understanding what it means to jump into what the Lord is doing. It took me two months to grasp what trusting the Lord truly means. Now, when I say two months, I mean two months of eight hours a day looking, reading, and understanding.
When I said reading, I meant listening to because my web browser allowed me to translate text into voice. So, I can listen to the actual text that was on the page. And I have to tell you, it took me months to truly figure out what this means and truly hear what this could mean in my life if I worked with God. And this is the hardest part. By not gaining something (like a job, or a career) that you don’t have today, by giving all that you have (your life and your glory to someone else), and still being able to do what you think you could do (like a goal or a direction), is what you’re looking for. And you do this in God’s name. This is trust! This is trusting that God will take care of you and that you can work through Him, not around Him. And God will take what you give Him and help you and you don’t need to be a pastor or anything else. All you need to do is to say, “Yes I trust you, and yes I need you to lead me” in a prayer.
Like I said, “This is not easy!” As you consider God in your life, you must think about the issues of work, play, family, and self. As you consider what you will do in these cases, you need to understand what you will do as you move into this new way of life. Consider your God as a partner and a friend who will help you through all of your frustrations. With this in mind, pray for honesty, kindness, and grace in all that He has provided for you ask Him for His help in the things that are causing you pain, and let Him steer you in a new way.
As we start to ask God to steer our lives, let’s also remember what Jesus said to His disciples. When Jesus was in Bethany, he was staying with his friend Lazarus. When He was done praying, which He did every day, some of the disciples asked Him what God would do for them if they prayed regularly. Jesus came back with a very good response, let’s listen:
5 And he said to them, “Suppose one of you has a friend, and you go to him at midnight and say to him, ‘Friend, lend me three loaves of bread, 6 for a friend of mine has arrived, and I have nothing to set before him.’ 7 And he answers from within, ‘Do not bother me; the door has already been locked, and my children are with me in bed; I cannot get up and give you anything.’ 8 I tell you, even though he will not get up and give him anything out of friendship, at least because of his persistence he will get up and give him whatever he needs.
9 “So I say to you, Ask, and it will be given to you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you. 10 For everyone who asks receives, and everyone who searches finds, and for everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. 11 Is there anyone among you who, if your child asked for a fish, would give a snake instead of a fish? 12 Or if the child asked for an egg, would give a scorpion? 13 If you, then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!” (Luke 11: 5-13)[2]
“Suppose one of you has a friend…”, within the first paragraph, we can see that being “persistent” is something that we understand. Yes, we can be persistent and when we need something, or we have to have something, we can certainly be persistent. “Persistent” means asking God for this again and again (this should be done with kindness and compassion). But what happens if this event is a surprise? For example, if we read: “and you go to him at midnight”, this is not what you expected to do and not what your friend expected either. If this is what you have to do, then you do it. But your surprise is not God’s surprise, it is only yours. A surprise is only a surprise to us, or to our friends, at the time of the surprise. But God knows about this ‘surprise’ and He can help with it. If you pray about it, He can help you. A surprise is not a ‘surprise’ if you know about it, and God does know about it.
Will this friend get up to give you your bread? Jesus says yes, and because you’re insistent, with your knocking, he will open the door and give you what you want. What does “insistent” really mean for a Christian? How can we be insistent with what we have and what we know? Insistent means that we keep asking for an outcome that we want, but God knows our questions and understands what we need. With knowing our needs in His mind, we can ask a thousand times and still get nothing, but if we Trust the Lord to help us, then He will give more than just help, He will assist us with the problem.
Yes, we can ask and we will get it, but we may not get it as we asked for it. Remember, that God is always looking out for us, and yes, He knows what we need.
9 “So I say to you, Ask, and it will be given to you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you.” Isn’t this the same question we have been asking from the beginning of this text? Yes, and no. Christ is saying, Ask, and it will be given to you, but don’t just ask for your whims, ask for something that you need from God.
For example, again if you want to ‘Win the Lottery’, you need to consider what it means if you ‘Win the Lottery’. Will you still be ‘working’ for God? Will you still be doing it His way? Will you still be righteous in all things? Or, will you be lazy and think of the world as a playground? And, by ‘Winning the Lottery’ will you become complacent and argumentative and not live in God’s world? I too would like to ‘Win the Lottery’, but I know that if I did, I would change, and I would be in the midst of it. And, I would be unsure where to go.
If we Ask, and it will be given to you, we must first allow God to lead us, we must follow Him in all that we do, and we must seek our God’s wisdom for all our decisions. If we can do that, then we can Ask, and it will be given to you. And, we must be humble in all of our asking. This is what Christ was talking about. If we don’t allow God to lead us, then little will happen with our prayers.
If we want our prayers answered, we can think of what Peter and John did in front of the synagogue. A synagogue is like a huge church (you can look this up on the internet[3]). Let’s look at it:
1 One day Peter and John were going up to the temple at the hour of prayer, at three o’clock in the afternoon. 2 And a man lame from birth was being carried in. People would lay him daily at the gate of the temple called the Beautiful Gate so that he could ask for alms from those entering the temple. 3 When he saw Peter and John about to go into the temple, he asked them for alms. 4 Peter looked intently at him, as did John, and said, “Look at us.” 5 And he fixed his attention on them, expecting to receive something from them. 6 Peter said, “I have no silver or gold, but what I have I give you; in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, stand up and walk.” 7 And he took him by the right hand and raised him up, and immediately his feet and ankles were made strong. 8 Jumping up, he stood and began to walk, and he entered the temple with them, walking and leaping and praising God. 9 All the people saw him walking and praising God, 10 and they recognized him as the one who used to sit and ask for alms at the Beautiful Gate of the temple, and they were filled with wonder and astonishment at what had happened to him.
(Acts 3: 1-10)
As Peter and John stood in front of the synagogue, Peter said to the man “Look at us.” Here, Peter is trying to grab this man’s attention. What is Peter doing here? He is asking that the man focus on John and himself. He then tells the man that they have nothing to give him. Peter and John have no gold, silver, or even goods to share, but they do have Christ’s word that they can give. And, so, Peter says to this man “in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, stand up and walk.” And it did happen.
Did Peter have a fruitful walk with her Lord? Yes, he certainly did. Was he asking for something of a whim? No, he was asking for this man to be healed. Was he allowing our Lord to steer his life in the direction of what the Lord is doing? Yes, he certainly was. Did Peter always seek wisdom from God? Yes, he saw and understood things according to what God had put in him and with him. And so, he saw the way God treated others and did the same.
Here, we have a person who can “Trust in the Lord” and move in His direction. Was his prayer answered? Yes, it was. This is what we need to do in order to have our prayers answered. If we start to understand this, then we can start to understand what we need to do.
[1] Alexia (or dyslexia) is defined as an acquired impairment affecting reading ability. Alexia is traditionally classified according to the site of anatomic damage and the presence or absence of deficits in writing (agraphia) and oral language (aphasia). Alexia is also known as “word blindness” or “agnosic alexia” and is a rare condition, first described by Dejerine in 1887. This condition involves the inability to read some words, but to be able to “see” them, and at times, writing skills could be augmented, and speech production and comprehension could fail as well. – from Google, Google information, Alphabet, 2024, search for “Alexia”
[2] In this document, we use the New Revised Standard Version – Updated Edition (NRSV-UE) as our Bible.
[3] To see the Temple of Herod (the synagogue) you can use this link: https://mallminestor/The Temple of Herod